I don’t tolerate 20 questions, I don’t bend over to accommodate. I asked myself when did I start doing this? When did I start putting myself 2nd or last for the sake of other’s comfort? The answer came loud and clear when I was with my mother the other day. We had just come back from lunch, and she’s searching in her pantry, getting frustrated. I asked her what was wrong. “I don’t have many snacks to offer you.” I told her I didn’t need any snacks, I had just eaten and I was fine. She then offered me some wine, which I declined and told her water was fine. It’s always been her way, and I am not saying it is a bad thing to make other’s feel comfortable, she does it overboard. Like when my brother said he was coming to visit and she said he could sleep in her bed and she could sleep in her chair. That’s how overboard. I picked up that habit from her, and I am not doing it anymore. What about my comfort? Why is my time not as valauable as yours? It has been a subtle change. There was another exchange with Hubby last night. I had brought home leftover shrimp from the night before, I asked him if he wanted it, and he started with 20 questions. Instead of answering his questions, I replied, “I asked a question, it is a simple yes or no.” He got mad and went to his workshop. Seems he’s doing that a lot lately, which is good. It is his way of adjusting or not to my new way of being. I do not have to explain why I don’t want to eat the shrimp. I do not have to explain any of my actions. And that’s been my whole life, having to explain why I did things. My actions are my actions. I am not doing harm to anyone or to me. And I certainly do not need to explain myself. Whatever I did, or am doing is because that is what I decided to do, better or worse. In a world that seems to demand answers, my favorite line these days is, “Nonya.” (none of your business). I just wish it hadn’t taken 64 years to come to this point. But hey, it’s all part of the journey right? Blessings.
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