Open Door Healing

I didn’t want to. And I felt bad while doing it, but it had to be done, or at least that was what I thought was best. And who knows? When my six year grandson was dropped off for Grandma Summer Camp on Monday at 8 am, he asked if he could have a day off of schoolwork. I laughed and said no, but there wouldn’t be that much. He decided he wasn’t going to do any. My 4 year granddaughter went to the kitchen table and promptly started her lessons. When she finished, I let her pick the activity for the day. I had gone through Pinterest, found some fun, educational things to do, laminated them and we’ve been trying to do one a day. She picked roll the dice, each number she had to do something different, jumping jacks, touch her toes, dance etc. I was letting her roll the dice and my grandson came over. He wanted to roll the dice too. I told him when he finished his schoolwork, he could join us. He went into the other room. I had some of those sponges that are in capsules and when you put them into warm water, they turn into different animals. My granddaughter and I did that activity. I was then cleaning up the kitchen, and she wanted to help me make something. We ended making chocolate pudding and I let her lick the whisk. My grandson wanted to help. I again told him when he finished his school work, he could help and lick the bowl. Finally, after my granddaughter and I had made the chocolate pudding, and I was just getting ready to wash the dishes, my grandson started doing his schoolwork. It was only 2 pages of easy math and 2 pages of scissor cutting. He had told me at the beginning of summer he wasn’t good at scisser cutting, so I had bought 2 books for him (and my granddaughter) to practice with. He did finish his schoolwork, and I let him lick the bowl. All seems well now. When my granddaughter asked me why I hadn’t let him join us in the activities, I told her because he didn’t want to do his schoolwork. That actions have consequences. I understand having days of not wanting to do things. I really do. I have them quite often now. And I am also acutely aware of conforming to the tribe mentality. I didn’t get upset at him and I did not ask him directly to come sit down and do his work, I did however when asked if he could join in an activity, tell him he had to do his work first. What was really interesting was when his parents came to pick him up, they asked how schoolwork went. They’ve never inquired before. He was honest, he told them he didn’t do it until 10am. And then there was a discussion of how we all have to work if we want to do things. Yesterday when he came, he jumped right in to doing his schoolwork. I don’t know if they had further conversations with at home, or if he just figured out it wasn’t worth missing out on activities to not do his schoolwork. Conforming to the tribal mentality. Ooh, a biggie. One I have struggled with all my life, usually being on the fringes. I’ve found quite a few others who are like me, not part of the “in” crowd. I tried to be for so long, but then realized I did not really want to be in that crowd. There is that whole sheep/goat thing going on in the bible, and I was taught to be like the sheep. Well, having been around both animals, I prefer goats to sheep. Goats are curious, using their minds to figure things out (mostly on how to get to the other side of the fence!), and most of them don’t take sh*t. I am no longer one for following blindly, and I feel for those that do. We’ve seen what can happen when that path is followed. So what does this have to do with the experience with my grandson the other day? Well, to me, you have to learn the system before you can buck it. My son learned that lesson early on, 3rd grade, the system I mean. He told his 3rd grade teacher, “You know, I have better things to do than to listen to you talk all day.” Well, of course that brought on a parent/teacher conference, and her wanting to put him on medication. I told her that yes, he did have better things to do, he lived on a 300 acre farm and would rather be driving a tractor with his dad. He was just all boy. And what is part of his job description? Driving a tractor through a vineyard. New rules are being made up daily, and new ways of Being also. I am looking forward to just Being and not doing. Blessings.