A strange one at that, although I don’t really know what a “regular” weekend is supposed to look like anymore. Saturday morning started off with some shadow work, I said something, Hubby said something back, quite gruffly, and I winced, getting butt hurt, taking me back to being 9 years old and hearing my step-dad be the same way. The first thing I wanted to do was run. I was making plans to go out, visit the garden center, go by Home Goods, anything, just to get away. And what was I getting away from? It wasn’t Hubby, it was that feeling again of being not enough, of being wrong, of not being respected. Hubby did not do it on purpose, he’s not that way, he was responding to my energy, which at the time of my comment was accusatory. I didn’t run. Instead, I went to one of the back bedrooms and laid down for about 15 minutes and assessed what was going on. Then I finished what I was doing. The rest of the day was fine. It was a moment to greet my shadow at the door, to invite her in, continue the release of those energies she has been holding onto for me until I was ready to confront them. Which I did. Was it a one and done situation? Nah. But I do know that every little step I take towards wholeness, ripples out to others. Would it be nice to get it all one and done? I don’t know, because then I would have to ask myself who I really am without all these “energies” holding me together. And that my friends, is the scary part. Blessings.
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