Open Door Healing

My brother died unexpectedly in his sleep three years ago. The coroner put on his death certificate his death was due to a heart attack, but I know otherwise. He died of a broken heart. Eight years ago, his wife, Estelle, died unexpectedly in her sleep, and it shook his foundation and mine. She had been the sister I never had, we enjoyed getting together talking about our Hubbys and then laughing at how good we had it, go window shopping and usually end the day with a nice glass of Chardonney. She was the one who ate well, exercised and balanced her home and work life. My brother, Alynn, was at a loss because she took care of his every need, he had not had that before, and I was at shaken because I realized just like that any one of my family members could be gone in an instant. Her death really changed my perspective of what mattered, which leads me to today’s musings. About 10 years ago Alynn and Estelle went to Ireland and they brought me back a Guinness glass. Guinness is by far my favorite dark beer, especially at restaurants who do not carry a wide variety of beers. The glass is also my Hubby’s favorite glass to have his morning chocolate milk in. He likes to keep the mug in the freezer as it makes his milk even colder. A couple of months ago, I noticed that the Guiness etching was coming off. Since then, I have tried my best to wash it by hand when I see it in the sink or dishwasher, but sometimes I don’t catch it in time, I am pretty sure the etching coming off has to do with the harsh chemicals and hot water. I mentioned to my Hubby the other day that the etching was coming off and I would prefer he washed the glass by hand. He replied that it didn’t bother him, so I told him that Alynn had given it to me as a gift, I really have so little of his things as when he died, he was basically living in a room in someone’s house. A couple of days ago I noticed it was not in the freezer or the dishwasher and so started looking for it, at first I thought maybe Hubby had dropped it and not told me, due to an incident regarding my grandmother’s cereal bowl from 43 years ago, which is another story, but no, he would have told me because I walk barefoot around the house. I found it on the top shelf of one of the cabinents. My first thought was why did he put there? Out of reach for me, unless I have a step stool, as I am short. I didn’t run immediately to question him. I hadn’t asked him not to use it, just to hand wash it, and honestly, I quite liked washing it by hand as it reminded me of my brother. I decided to buy myself some beautiful flowers and put them in the Guiness glass and it now sits on my desk so I can enjoy the flowers and the glass everyday. Why didn’t I run immediately to Hubby and ask him why he did it? Because it wasn’t important. He doesn’t overthink things, I do. My story is that he didn’t want something to happen to it, and the space he found was really the only open space there was, and besides, it was in my coffee cup cupboard (well, one of them, I do enjoy collecting coffee cups), and I would have seen it every day. He may have a different story. And that is ok too. I’ll stick with mine. It is about personal growth and picking your battles, which in 43 years we have had very few. Blessings.