Open Door Healing

I never know what will inspire my next post. Yesterday, as I opened my car door in the Walmart parking lot, I saw a pregnancy test stick on the ground. Naturally I looked at it to see if whoever took it was pregnant or not; it was negative. A whole slew of questions came to my mind. Were they relieved? Were they dissapointed? Were they confused? Relieved because that one night stand didn’t cause any more problems than hurt feelings? That the man who had pledged their love was no longer around, or that it was one less mouth to feed? Were they upset and dissapointed? Had they been trying so hard and for so long to get pregnant, to be a mother, to have a family, and this was just one more dissapointing month? And then maybe a slight fear creeping in that something else was going on? Or was there confusion? They hadn’t had a period in several months and felt out of sorts, ah menopause, fun times. I’ve been in all three scenerios. The one night stand panic, the not getting pregnant when I wanted to panic and the menopause panic. As far as the menopause situation, I did come to a point where I was happy that I couldn’t get pregnant again. I knew before that because my Hubby had a vasectomy after our second child, but still, you never know. I remember feeling so relieved and it wasn’t until years later that I grieved that I could no longer create life. Then a couple of more questions popped up for me. Why this particular Walmart. It is a Neighbordhood Walmart, close to my where my mom lives and there is a Super Walmart less than a quarter of a mile away. Did they go there because it was an easy in and out? Was it not in their neighborhood so they wouldn’t bump into someone they knew? I feel this is fodder for a novel or a Lifetime movie. And the biggest question: Why did I care? It had no impact on my life whatsoever except I had to step over it. A couple of weeks ago I had been telling my mother not to waste time energy on those things that did not effect her life; she’s a news junkie. Was the Universe showing me just how easy it is for my mind to go down a rabbit hole? I mean how many other people today have parked in this spot, it was close to the front, and not noticed it? If if they did, not cared? Or, was the Universe nudging me to send compassion and love to whomever this belonged too? I chose that. The journey continues.